The uncomfortable truth about this topic is that most people have already been in this situation. Sneaking a look at job boards during your lunch break, sending messages to recruiters from your personal phone, updating your CV at home, and attending interviews disguised as a dentist appointment. It is something that happens every single day across every industry, yet nobody really talks about how to handle it properly or what your actual options are.
So let's talk about it.
Why most people keep it close to their chest
For the majority of people, saying nothing is simply the path of least resistance. No awkward conversations, no change in atmosphere, no risk. And at the heart of that decision is a very human emotion: fear. Fear of how your employer will react, fear of being sidelined, fear of becoming the office outcast before you have even handed in your notice. These are not irrational fears either. They are real possibilities, and for a lot of people that is enough to keep the whole thing completely under wraps until the day they resign.
The cases where honesty can actually pay off
That said, being upfront with the right manager in the right environment can sometimes work in your favour more than you might expect. A conversation about how you are feeling can lead to a counteroffer, a move to a different department, or a progression plan being put in place that gives you a genuine reason to stay.
This is especially worth considering if the reason you are looking elsewhere is something your employer does not actually know about. If there is an issue that management has never been made aware of, leaving without raising it means you are never giving them the chance to fix it. Sometimes the thing pushing you out of the door is something that could have been resolved with one conversation.
The middle ground most people miss
Here is where it gets nuanced, and it is the part most people overlook entirely. This situation does not have to be binary. You do not have to choose between telling your employer exactly what you are planning or saying nothing at all.
There is a meaningful difference between announcing that you are actively job hunting and simply having an honest conversation about why your current role is no longer working for you. One puts your employer on the defensive, the other opens a dialogue. Talking about feeling undervalued, wanting more progression, or needing a change in direction is not the same as handing in your notice, but it can lead to changes that make the whole thing unnecessary. It is an uncomfortable conversation to have, but it is one that can open doors that staying silent would keep firmly shut.
What to do when you have something confirmed
Once you have an offer on the table, it can be very tempting to mentally clock out of your current role entirely, especially if you feel you have been treated poorly. That feeling is understandable, but acting on it is rarely a good idea.
Industries are smaller than they seem and reputations travel fast. Handing in your notice with the right amount of notice, completing a thorough handover, and leaving the role in a state that sets the next person up properly are all things that matter more than they might feel like they do in the moment. You never quite know when your paths will cross again with former colleagues or managers, and leaving on good terms costs you nothing but pays dividends you cannot always predict.
There is no universal answer to whether you should tell your employer you are looking. The right call depends entirely on your relationship with your manager, the culture of the business, and how much runway you need before you are ready to move. What matters most is being intentional about it rather than just defaulting to silence out of fear, or to honesty at the wrong moment.
Know your environment, trust your instincts, and handle your exit the way you would want someone to handle theirs if the roles were reversed.
Do you think it's time to look for a new position?
Contact Lets Recruit and speak with one of our expert recruiters to determine your next steps!
Email: hello@letsrecruit.co.uk
Phone: 0333 577 7157
